Sometimes, as a book blogger, I can’t help but feel like I’m slightly… broken. There are numerous causes for this, but let’s just start with one that I noticed over the new year when there was all this buzz for Cress.
I just don’t get as excited as everyone else about upcoming publications.
You know how there are these upcoming releases that everyone gets all excited about? They put the dates in their diaries, they post about upcoming publications for their WoW features, they keep track of any and all updates for them, they preorder the books, they go onto Twitter and talk about how they just have to read this book RIGHT NOW?!
I don’t do any of these things! And sometimes… it makes me feel like a fake!
I’ve never really paid too much attention to it before, until Cress’s publication date started buzzing through out the blogosphere. Now, looking back at my review for Scarlet you may think “Wait a second Asti, you said at the end of the review that you ‘can’t wait until Cress comes out’ and that you might ‘actually put forth the work to try and get an ARC’! What do you mean you don’t get excited and stuff?!” Well, my dear questioning friend, I think those statements were, erm, fake.
I mean, how do you prove that you really love a book? You say “I love it and I want to read more!” So that’s what I did. And sure, if Cress was getting all hyped up right at the second maybe I would have done something about getting an ARC or reading it early or something. But it wasn’t happening right then. I still had months to go before any of that happened.
And that’s the problem. Within a week of finishing a book and wanting more… I just sort of forget the book and my excitement and everything. It just becomes another book.
Let’s go back to my Cress example. Like I said, I just sort of lost my energy for this book. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to read it or didn’t think it was amazing. I just didn’t feel the desperation in me to read it right away. Instead, I saw all the other fifty unread books around me and just thought… later.
Of course, then the ARCs happened. I didn’t go after one, because as I mentioned, I just didn’t feel the urge to. But, one of my friends did get an ARC. And, being the lovely person she is and knowing that I loved the series, she offered to send me her ARC of Cress so that I could read it before the publication date. Meaning, even without putting forth all this extra effort, I could get my hands on this much-desired sequel and finally have a chance at finding out what happens next.
Did I say yes and have her send me her ARC of Cress? No.
Now, part of it may be one of my weird quirks of not liking reading books that are already read and wanting to own copies of each book I’ve read, but a lot of it was just my indifference at the time towards when I got around to reading the book. I wanted to read it, yes, but I had so much else going on at the time and so many other books I wanted to read that it just felt unnecessary.
So, a couple months later, Cress finally published. What do you think happened then?
If you guessed that I ran out and bought a copy of the book right away, what the heck have you been doing during this post? Picking your nose?! (It’s okay if you were, I forgive you.) No. I did nothing. I saw everyone raving and squeeing over Cress and I just sort of told myself I’ll get to it eventually.
It’s now the end of April and I still don’t have it.
Is there something wrong with me?
I just don’t know what to say. It feels wrong admitting that I don’t get my panties all in a bunch over new books like everyone else. Why am I wedgie-free?! (Seriously Asti? You’re going to leave that sentence in there?!)
I really think it must be an unexpected effect of my current situation. For one, I have wayyyyyy too many unread books. It’s not like back in the day when I would await for a new publication, run out, and be able to start reading it right away. No, now I have to wait until I finish my current read, and then I have to try and decide if I want to read it next or read one of the eight hundred other books I already one and ugh… it’s just a lot of work.
The other big issue? I have no idea what my future holds. It’s something I try to avoid thinking about, but honestly, I have no idea where I’m going to end up next year. I don’t know if I’ll be here in the UK, or back home in the US. So buying new books and not knowing when I’ll read them? It just seems dangerous. What happens if I have to go back to the States? Am I going to ship all my unread books home? Keep them here in storage and not be able to read them until I find my way back? It just feels like I shouldn’t take in any more books (unless they’re free, gifted, or I am bored and walking through Waterstones one day and just can’t resist).
So really, I feel like maybe my lack of excitement these days is a defense mechanism. It’s my brain’s attempt at trying to be logical about my bookish ways. Just say no, until you can say no no more.
But wait… there is ONE exception.
Of course, while typing this post up I did come to the realization that there will always be at least ONE exception to this rule. Gold star if you can guess what it is…
PATRICK NESS’S BOOKS! (Insert epic music here!)
I will always get excited about any publication by Patrick Ness because, as you know, he is my favorite author ever and really he can’t do any wrong. I know each and every story he publishes will be new and exciting for me, will leave me with feels and thoughts and everything, that I just HAVE to be excited.
But Patrick Ness is the only exception.
Does anyone else feel this way, or am I the only unexcited person in the blogosphere? Do you think it has to do with my current book situation (so many unread books) or do you think there’s really something wrong with me? (Quick, send help!) Let me know in the comments below!